Yesterday I was at my job at FVS, selling fishes and doing what I do best (which happens to be...selling fishes...) It was a pretty good day so far, with not much work to be done and me feeling much better after a nasty bout of food poisoning the previous day after going to lunch with my friends. Then HE came.
First, he asked about steamer clams. We don't have any right now, and I pray to God we never do again, because I hate those little spitting bastards. They freak me out. I told him we wouldn't have any until the end of the week, even though I had no idea. The seafood manager doesn't tell me anything.
He went away for a while, then came back and requested two lobsters. We have a sale on lobsters under 1.5 pounds, for $9.99 a pound. Kay. I got him his lobsters and he started talking to them. Not like, "oh man, I'm sorry, you're gonna die and get in my belly" but actual, real, conversation. Like he expected them to talk back to him. I was getting uneasy at this point, but it got worse. He turned to me and started talking about how Catholics can't eat lobsters or something. I joked that I was Jewish so that's not a problem to me. (I totally am, too. I converted. Just saying.) OH GOD. He went off about the Illuminati and how there are places in the universe that we can't see but the Japanese have a filter or some shit, at this point I wasn't really paying attention. I just went "huh. That's interesting. Well then." I quickly boxed up his lobsters and got him the hell out of there.
He ended up returning the lobsters because somehow he misunderstood the sign saying it was $9.99 A POUND. He thought it was $9.99 for the whole thing. Jesus Christ.
[deleted my last post. It was pretty pathetic. Life happens, y'know, and we're kinda not dating anymore.]
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